Jun 23 2009
Think your friends and family would help you out in a crisis?
So you think that your friends and family would help you out in a time of crisis or need?
So did I, boy was I surprised. There are only a very small few that actually will take action and try to help you in anyway they can. You’ll get a lot of “If I could help you, I’d do it in a heartbeat” comments, but that is all they’re willing to do, comment.
My experience started when I was offered a medical procedure not covered by insurance to help me with a medical condition that I’ve had for years. I have already had seven surgeries in my life and had 4 surgeries and numerous procedures just in the past four years. I have had to meet my ‘out of pocket’ expenses limit for the past four years and am only a couple hundred dollars short of meeting it already this year.
Due to the tremendous amount of bills, you can understand why our funds are getting low. We no longer have any savings and it seems as if we’re almost working from paycheck to paycheck just to pay medical bills. I did some figuring and found out it would take me 6 months to save for this procedure, but the Dr said the earlier I have it the better my chances and 6 months might be too long.
So my first step was to try to get a loan from my retirement plan at work. I have over $10k in there and figured if I got a loan for $4k, I could have it paid off by the end of the year. Well my employer has our accounts set up so that we can not borrow from them. We can only get the money if we don’t work there anymore and we have to withdrawl the full amount.
So my next step was to contact friends that might have some savings sitting in the bank earning a pathetic interest rate. My request to them was if you can loan me $4000 I can pay you back at least $400 every two weeks for a total of $4800 (they would make $800 in 6 months or less for helping a friend in need). I said I would sign a formal loan agreement and that I would make sure that if anything happened to me, they would get their money through either my life insurance or from my retirement plan. I got a couple “I wish I could help” comments, but most people didn’t even bother to respond.Next, I went to my family. I asked my mother if she would get a personal loan and I would make the payments and have it paid off before the end of the year. Her response was I just bought this new car and I just can’t get a loan right now. I’ve never asked my mother for anything. I moved out when I was 17 after graduating from High School moved to Virginia and started working. At 18 I was paying the taxes for the house she was living in, because she said she couldn’t afford to pay them. Yes, this same woman who expected her 18 year old daughter to pay the taxes on the house she and her oldest daughter were living in that only had to pay the utilities to live there, while I was paying my share of $750 rent and utlities. The same woman who has been begging for a grandchild, but I haven’t been able to have one due to my condition. When offered the chance to actually help her daughter possibly retain a pregnancy by having this procedure done, is quick to respond with a I can’t afford to get a loan.
So my next step was to go to all my friends and family and see if I could find 100 people willing to loan me $40 or I would design a one-page website for them for the $40. So far only 7 people have volunteered to help and none of them are close family or friends. These are the friends and acquaintances that may be a friend on facebook or myspace and old friend from high school, etc. These are the only people that I’ve found so far that are willing to help me during my time of need. Sad isn’t it?
I don’t claim to be perfect, because no one is, and I have made my share of mistakes, but I can honestly say without a doubt that when ever someone has needed my help, I have always helped them in any way I could. If they needed to borrow money, if I didn’t have the full amount I gave them what I could. Whatever, wherever I have always tried to help.
To this point I always believed in Karma, I believed that if you did good things for others, that one day the same would be done for you. I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, because beleive me I am so grateful that anyone out there is willing to help someone else in need, I’m just saying from my own experience that don’t think that if there comes a time in your life that you need help, that there are going to be people willing to help you. People who will step up and help another person when they need it the most.
I will continue to send out my postcards and go from business to business to see if I can find anyone willing to have a web site designed for my drastically reduced prices in the hopes that some how some way I will be able to raise the money in time to make a difference and possibly get the miracle I’ve been praying for for over 12 years — a child of my own.
